Live to Live

In the first chapter of The Enchiridion, Epictetus gives a guideline for the way one should live their life in order to avoid being disappointed or wretched or sad. To do this, Epictetus explains that there are two sets of circumstantial ideas. The things we can control are things that can be categorized as our own actions. The things we cannot control are things categorized as anything that is not our own action. He claims that the things in our control are essentially free and those not in our control are weak and essentially belong to others. 

It is this weakness that Epictetus says we must avoid. If by being very fond of a single cup causes you to be distressed when it breaks, Epictetus says to “remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond,” so when the cup does break it doesn’t mean anything. Simply put, he says that the way to overcome weakness and avoid sadness or grief is to remain detached from things that are not subject to your own action. So, if you love a child and the child dies, you will not grieve if you merely tell yourself that you love things that are human.

I think the absurdity of my last statement highlights the problems with Epictetus’s theory. It is certain that some things in life cause us unnecessary pain and suffering. It is also certain that a good way to deal with the minor grievances (like your favorite cup breaking) is how Epictetus describes. But to allow that theory to blanket the full spectrum of human suffering is asinine (like someone you love dying). It is also unwise to apply this thinking to life in general. If life is lived always being detached from people you love, or things that you desire is it really a life? 

It is said, “I would have rather loved and lost than to never have loved at all,” I think that Epictetus would disagree with this. However, no matter what way you choose to see things, whether you feel pain from a painful experience or you detach yourself from it, life is not lived if there is not some amount of suffering. It is inevitable. And personally, I would rather get teary over my favorite cup breaking than having 10 cups that have no meaning to replace it when it did.